Personal Experience

At the beginning of page 271, Callie describes how Desdemona feels now that the love of her life, Lefty, is dead. Cal recounts, "She didnt like being left on earth. She didn't like being left in America. She was tired of living" (271).
          I have severe clinical depression and I have been dealing with this disorder for my entire life. I can very much relate to how Desdemona is feeling because although I have not lost my husband, I have been tired of living. Like Desdemona, I often stay in bed for many hours and I think about my own personal death. I have made attempts in the past to end my life, and although Desdemona is not suicidal, she does not put any effort into living. Desdemona is heart broken and grief stricken, therefore she has just given up on attempting to be happy and living without the love of her life. She is also selfish because her family needs her but she does not care, she just wants to o what he thinks will make her happy, dying. I can also relate to this because I have made the very selfish choice to attempt to end my life and I did not think about my family or  what they would benefit from. When an individual feels as though they do not have anything to live for anymore, they completely forget about the ones that still love them. Like Desdemona, I have a great life and a family that loves me, but I think selfishly and I want to end everything because I am tired of being sad. Constantly, I hurt myself because I know that although I have loving people around me, I do not want to feel sadness anymore. I try to do anything I can to feel something, even pain, other than sadness. Desdemona does this to herself as well because she mentally hurts herself by isolating herself from the rest of society. She also does not take care of her loved ones or herself, and Desdemona is a caring person so it must hurt her to see her family tending to her every need. Every situation of depression is different so I am in no way comparing my life to hers, but our feelings resemble similar outcomes. Both Desdemona and I no longer want to be on this earth, both of us are self destructive and lastly both of us are selfish.
I am getting the therapy and medication that is needed, the necessary adults know of all that is shared above so please do not be alarmed.